Relationships: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Relationships: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places


Hello everyone. Thanks for joining us for
another presentation of our Friday Night Spiritual Insights with Michael Mirdad.
We greatly appreciate you joining us, now or all the time. For some of you it seems
to be a Friday night special, you know, a Friday night experience, so thank you for
joining us. Remember, you can watch a whole catalog of presentations on
Facebook, or on YouTube for that matter. All right now, today we’re going to talk
about relationships, but maybe from a slightly different angle than we
sometimes have. I just want to share something very simple. A lot of people
write in and call, and so forth, and have sessions related to different, many, many
different topics, but one of them, and an ongoing one, is relationships. It’s an
interesting thing to really venture into, because there are so many different
takes on relationships. It’s just that most of them don’t go very far.
They probably offer something, but people have to really learn to to recognize
that there are multi levels, multi levels of understanding relationships, because
the relationships are multi levels within themselves you know there’s not a
linear conversation you can have about relationships but kudos to
those who who do present it as a let’s say a linear thing a simple topic you
know men are like this and women are like that you just accept the
differences or whatever anything that helps enlighten a little bit I just
don’t it’s not my thing I like to look at enlightening a lot a bit you know
just really understanding the vastness and so we’ve done talks on relationships
but a trillion other topics but relationships and the vastness intimacy
communication trust and so on and so on so today I’m going to maybe just come
from a slightly different angle I’m always a little bit light maybe
sometimes very very deep and and in that kind of a deep space where we’re going
to deep places with healing topics sometimes still a lightness to it but
sometimes there’s depth there and feeling for people and other times
there’s with deep deep spiritual topics like
multidimensionality and ascension and so forth but as often as I can I tend to be
light so when you watch anything I’m doing a presentation please understand
that’s just a style but but Menino today I’m gonna be maybe a little lighter
about things than usual because relationships seem to confound people
and so you know I sort of make light of it I make fun of some of what we do and
how we behave because human beings are gloriously made in the image of God and
just the fact that we could forget that and think that we’re limited beings is
hilarious if it weren’t so tragic it is it’s laughable and so you know people
disconnect and then they get into this feeling of emptiness and then onwards
with this on they go with with you know like a longing you know where do I fill
this now it’s not a conscious thing obviously but it’s there it’s an
unconscious deep ache you know it’s like our having our own sense of a just a
void inside and people go looking and they try every kind of thing imaginable
and some unimaginable to try to fill that void and and as great teachers
throughout time have told us it just doesn’t work it cannot work ever it
can’t work at all ever for something outside to fill us because for a few
reasons but because there is no outside the outer world is a hologram it’s just
a just a mirror just a hologram three dimensional mind you but still a
hologram and also it can’t fill us because we’re not incomplete in the
first place so there’s nothing that can complete us so you know sit in the
comfort of knowing that let’s begin this and end this talk with that idea that
I’m already on some level I’m already okay I’m already okay and just breathe
that in I know we don’t seem okay at times we’re not saying that but but deep
down on some level I am okay I’m complete and completely made in God’s
image so that’s kind of nice I don’t have anything to do I don’t have to
chase anyone chase anything to fill me it’s like I’m
you know I just feel this interdependence kind of cool and that’s
important all right so let’s get that make sure we
breathe that in for just a moment and then we’ll approach relationships and
and look at this maybe just again from a slightly different perspective so just
imagine the body I always I love to use metaphors and examples and parables and
things like that it’s just the right brain style that I
have but you know the body just the picture the entire body being like the
body of God let’s just say metaphorically this body is the body of
God the main body here all right and then think of think of the hands the
hand itself as being an extension okay of God
that’s our soul so here’s God and then here’s our soul reaching out and we look
like we have shot away from her branched out or separated from God seemingly so
we’re out there and out into the universe
so in God we are spirit soul we are Universal beings meaning the soul goes
out into the universe the spirit resides in God heaven the soul goes out into the
universe and then the fingers extend the fingers extend from the head which means
if this is important what seems like this is this is the collective soul a
collective of all of us God the collective soul and then the fingers
then would be the body bodies or the body okay so we’re reaching out so let’s
say this one pointer finger is is you and you’re reaching out to the universe
and there’s other people branching off of the collective soul that comes from
God so out into the universe we go and then you know it’s important to
understand that we we think of ourselves outer oriented meaning our mind and our
attention is so outer oriented we look outside to determine everything how’s my
day depends on the weather outside am i with
am i lonely light depends if I have someone outside in my life and so on its
own how much success do I have or wealth do I have a lid outside I’m gonna look
at my checkbook or my stacks of you know coins or whatever it is it’s stuff so
it’s we we take our attention and we look out and all the great teachers have
said turn turn and look within and there’s reasons we do not do that but
will not go there right now so here we are and and soul is reaching out
becoming bodies and then at the tips of the fingers the bodies touch other
bodies and we call that intimacy sexuality intimacy and so on so again
you know keep this in mind I’m I’m thinking I’m a finger and I’m reaching
out and when I go through the the into the third dimension there’s a veil we go
through that you can’t see souls like the deceased people that go back into
the soul level of consciousness can’t see them but because we’re out here and
we’re looking that way first of all but also because there’s a veil right here
but notice how the veil seems to give us a sense or like a reality that this
finger is a separate finger than this so here we are different people and I’m
most of all at the tips of the fingers looking that way and so it’s like oh
nice to see you and we meet these other people and we like them don’t like them
whatever the case may be but we think of it metaphorically that the touch of the
finger is kind of like an analogy of intimacy but what’s kind of funny is you
remove the veil and you realize we’re all one I don’t need any other finger to
give me anything because if you remove the veil you go wow I had it all the
time in the soul level and work where because we think we’re separate from God
and our attention is to go away from God because that’s the big bang in the
universe boom so we’re all flying out outward and our attention is outer
oriented when you call you calm and you Center and you turn
within to look at yourself which of course isn’t beautiful at first not
usually anyway because when you look within the ego has presented all these
concepts masks and limiting beliefs about ourselves when we look within we
start to see not just an aging face and body issues which is enough to keep us
from looking within believe it or not it’s why it’s there to distract us with
what we perceive to be less than perfection but we turn and we look
within and inside it’s even more frightening because inside we start to
see the wounds that caused us to look the way we look the wounds that caused
us to get those stress marks the wounds that caused us to gray prematurely the
wounds that caused us to put the extra weight to buffer things or to stay extra
skinny for its own compensatory reasons the wounds and the wounds and the ones
layers and if you worked on all the current wounds you’d find childhood
wounds and if you worked on those you might find past life wounds or whatever
you may believe in that’s hidden beyond okay
or I should say within and beyond what we’re used to seeing so here are those
different perspectives and so so people go out there and think well I’m gonna
date but all it is is hi nice to see you nice to meet you it’s all it is these
are all the same they’re all part of the same soul so when you get that
perspective it starts to make you think hmm you know really what does anyone out
there offer me you know they’re just giving me other perspectives of myself
within my soul because I’m not used to looking within on a soul level of Who I
am I’m out here on a body level and so I don’t want to be alone like just found
out there by myself so I want to meet other people fingers as the metaphor
maybe so we get into this place and say you know let’s say you’re the pointer
finger that’s determining the direction you go in your life so you’re the
pointer finger and you say you know hey um where am I going and what direction
am I going and so on so that’s you out of the fingers which finger are you this
one let’s say so on a relationship topic you know it’s like
I feel kind of alone I’m looking out to the universe and it feels kind of lonely
so think what I should do is not want to deal with being alone all the time cause
when I look out in the universe all I see is the darkness and coldness of the
universe so and I don’t want to look within because I have a suspicion that
that might not work because the egos they’re going don’t look at the guy
behind the curtain the veil see now little Dorothy what does it Wizard of Oz
reference so Oz reference so now the teeth the finger the pointer finger
that’s that’s you let’s say says wow you know I’m gonna just look to my side
distractions to the side all we sidetracking
so the pointer says wow you know I think what I’m gonna do is get to know this
guy who are you and this one says hi there
nice to meet you we ought to get together the two of us so the pointer
which is you says oh you know like to get to know this person datum you know
and they seemed they seemed you know kind of cool because in in in palmistry
you you reference the earth water fire and air fingers and then ether so I’m
gonna go and meet because I’m I’m in my air a little bit of an airhead right now
not knowing who I am so I go and I meet the pinky and I say
hey how we doing pinky nice to meet you and the pinky says well I’m kind of
small but very materialistic very earthy so I’m a little small so I compensate
I’ve got you know cars and money and all kinds of stuff to overcompensate you
know for for the littleness I feel in who knows how many different ways and so
the pointer meets the pinky and Wow hit it off but then gets a little bored you
know it gets a little tired turned off with all the other insecurities going on
sure the money and this you know the the snazzy dis and pizzazz that but it’s all
the front making up so I’m making up for same thing so no I’m gonna have to let
go with a pinky okay so now that was a little bit of a bummer so now I think
what I’m gonna do is that you know go for something else this was a little
insecure and overcompensating so I don’t like the insecure
honest of the pinkie I know what I’m gonna do I’m gonna go find myself a
middle finger so the pointer goes wow man longer stronger better man this is
like cool this is like mm-hmm and the middle finger sells itself as do ya man
what are you doing tonight you know it’s like a middle finger man
see earth water fire so the middle fingers got a lot of fire and the fire
eventually you start to realize the one that seems like just a go for it fiery
you know hot dating kind of thing they’re also usually dealing with anger
and rage those middle fingers out there in the world um you know so it’s like
wow that that really turned me on I’m really going for it kind of a hot date
kind of a hot experience then you start to realize you know like the masters of
old said and you know pretty much things that are hot are usually shallow so hmm
this isn’t really working I tried small but they overcompensate
and and a little too small in different ways try larger cooler faster you know
it’s just hot man and the rage is a turn-off so now I feel a little bit like
a failure because I’ve tried what seems to be the to polar opposites types of
people that are out there in the world so what am I gonna do and you know and
and forgive the the playful puns and so forth but it applies I mean it’s just
kind of funny but it applies most of the time I’m not saying these are hard facts
that people that are like this are always like that and so on this is just
general truths but they’re they are true and then the Pointer you says okay this
isn’t working and I’ve tried the opposite that isn’t working now I’m
starting to feel like a failure you know so what am I gonna do now I went after
the money and whatever the the the shine you know in that respect but underneath
that there was nothing there this seemed like substance no you know so many
people I’ve known that they succumb to that thing you know it’s a fantasy
times they dream about it it’s the fantasy the that more is better in my
body soul or whatever it’s it’s it’s the more is better in on especially material
levels but this is the physicality this is the the sexual the heat more is
better so it’s the more material relationship topic we’re on and more is
not that it’s complete is complete more is better is still part of the dualistic
world so it’s just really more to you and it might be better to you but it
won’t last because it’s still not reality so we go by the illusion more is
better this for sure man oh my god never felt this way sensations I haven’t felt
etc not realizing some of those sensations are actually warning signs
your skin is crawling you think you’re having an orgasm but your skin is
crawling because you know you’re in the midst of somebody in the presence
somebody who you know is dealing with rage anger perhaps or whatever which
adds to the heat of the experience but look where it ends up it’s like at some
point no this doesn’t feel safe connecting so what am I going to do now
I know what I’m gonna do I’m gonna let go of my images of those two concepts
those two kinds of guys maybe there’s something else out that you run into
somebody and they call this guy safer safe let’s go and date a thumb so we go
out we we tried all that you know the gambit here we gambit pretty much but
but the thumb and the thumb is you know different not the over compensatory here
not the BS macho thing here it’s so different from the others that I’ve
dated that’s kind of cool but you realize but the attractions not really
there cuz thumbs aren’t a bit different so you realize while I’ve dated the
other kinds of guys and now this guy he’s he’s safe and I might not be
attracted but he seemed safer you know but he’s all thumbs so there’s maybe a
clumsiness he doesn’t have the the pizzazz of the one he doesn’t have
the fake heat of the other but you know it’s just it’s I can’t do that for very
long because it doesn’t have some of the other things I’m looking for now what am
I going to do oh they’re big you know take the deep
breath you know I’ve done the the wealthy I’ve done the broke I’ve done
the large I’ve done the small at the end of the day they all just screwed me
under alright so what do I do now what’s left
I’ll wait there’s more I didn’t realize oh my god I haven’t met the ring finger
the ring finger nice not too small not too large not too hot not too cold not
too clumsy not do this that and the other the ring finger and besides that
they’re willing to commit Wow you know we meet the ring finger and it’s like oh
my god it’s perfect you know and and that’s I think that’s fantastic you find
that person that seems a good balance you know but you know at the end of the
day it’s still a finger it’s still a finger that’s acting as though it has
something to offer acting as though it’s something different than just another
finger and acting as though it has something to offer granted in this world
relationships counselors would tell you that’s the one you ought to go for I
mean a balance a little bit you know in a materialistic way kind of a balance
but also they’re willing to commit some people will only they’ll say yes only
based on the commitment part because it’s again seemingly filling a void that
we don’t have and that they can’t fill so and you like that for wedding vows up
the aisle to the front you take the Rings and you say today I commit and I
Wendy on the premise that I will give you something that I cannot give you to
help fill something in you that I cannot fill would you take me I do know it
doesn’t make any sense but that’s what we do
and you know people that are asleep do that people that are awake start to go
mmm there’s something wrong with this picture
and you might overcome and say dunno relationships because of the wounds or
because you your eyes have been open you say no thank you but what’s nice is to
stay in the center not not looking for things to fill you in this world but not
necessarily especially based on her running the other direction staying in
the center recognizing that relationships can be
beautiful committed relationships can be beautiful marriage can be beautiful life
mate concepts can be beautiful dating all of the various aspects of
relationship can be beautiful they’re just usually not know okay sorry
they can all be beautiful it’s just in this world people don’t know how to be
in the beauty of them because they’re there out of emptiness trying to be
filled and it can’t be done so it brings heartbreak and heartache acting out and
hurting and selfishness and you know irresponsible behaviors and so on so
that’s that’s what usually goes wrong and so even the the the ring finger you
know it leaves us in a place that seemed better and healthier and I think kudos
if you found that better healthier and committed relationship better than the
others absolutely you know you know the others you know just forget it I mean
this one’s gonna give me that that one’s gonna give me that you know if you’re a
counselor or if you have friends that you talk to about relationships they’re
going to tell you how they’ve had their versions of the middle finger the pinky
finger the thumb and so on and of course the ring finger and it’s not necessarily
in this chronological order obviously some of us going get married first it
crashes we get upset and we think help with it all screw them I’m gonna go and
make up for all of the heartache around this and they go and grab themselves a
metal finger you know which is you think hot and cool and better than what this
person gave you when in fact you’re still being screwed under by that little
finger there’s a reason why it’s the middle finger why it’s a fire finger
it’s heat and you go after the hot guy girl like
that and you’ll get burned it’s the way it goes the materialistic the material
is just the material the earth person the fire person sell it now at the end
when you look at all this there’s there’s still in a great end moral of
the story so you sit there and you say you know these are still fingers no
matter which finger relationship workshops and books conversations
advisers life coaches you know all family members they still they think
they have good advice because they’re telling you a different finger they
would recommend you know what you need you need a thumb good you know good good
person good hearted but a little clumsy you know it reminds me of that like Tim
Allen on home improvements where he’s he’s a practical guy and he’s nice guy
in you know he’s a good in his heart a good guy but he’s just he’s all thumbs
so you deal with that all the time and so you know there’s different kinds of
people but there’s still fingers so when somebody’s giving you advice you ought
to try this person that pers date this one that one they’re still talking about
fingers and this is a strange metaphor to be using but the things that pop into
my header Wow so here it is you know it doesn’t work so what are we gonna do
date none just date no fingers well not necessarily so what I would do is if you
were to pull the veil away you realize these looked like separate people but
they’re all just a hand my soul and our collective soul pull the bellows is if
you pull the veil away so you know you don’t get too upset when you realize
that you know you don’t need to get too upset when you realize that all the
fingers are just part of yourself you know they’re all wow I’ve dated this guy
this person this type of person this type it could be a type rather than a
person but this type that type and you know none of them can bring me anything
that I don’t already have inside so what I can do is just say wait they can’t
really do anything and let me retire that for now let me just retire all the
people all the day do some healing work some you know
different forms counselling whatever to to sort of cleanse the past heal the
this person that type whatever it is you thought you needed heal it outside and
try to come to some amount of goodbyes with all of them and then come to a
hello within yourself and when you get to that hello you know
hello it’s it was in me all the time and I’ve gotta get to having a relationship
with myself so now what I’m gonna do am I still allowed to have relationships
if I start to have a relationship with my soul yes but you know I would
recommend a certain type of relationship not a certain type of finger watch watch
what I’d like to have now is I want to connect with other fingers that know
that their souls if I connect and the veil is still that the veil represents
my limiting beliefs it represents my shallowness it represents my belief that
I’m separate from God and from each other all of us it represents judgment
this is illusion this veil when I learned to heal my mind through
spiritual growth this starts to pull away which is why many people truly on
the spiritual path don’t have partnerships because when you remove the
veil you go you’ve got to be kidding me and that’s what’s happening guys when
you find now you could be just wounded and not dating because you’re really
wounded so that’s a possibility but some of us are doing that you know say not
dating or or not dating the way we used to or or even withdrawing a little more
even if you’re married you just find you’re going within a bit more still
applies and watch what’s happening what’s happening is that without with or
without you knowing it the veil is getting thinner and you’re starting to
recognize the oneness of things without maybe realizing it you’re starting to
realize and you’re starting to wake up and your eye and eyes are starting to
open to where you go I really can’t do things like I used to
even including especially dating or partnerships now it doesn’t mean you’ll
you’ll go without or that you need to leave the one you’re in if
semi healthy or even healthier than that you don’t need to leave unless it’s you
have bigger reasons but what you can realize is that’s why I don’t feel as
invested in people relations partners neediness and all that that’s why I
don’t feel as pulled by things like I’m lonely I have to have sex I gotta hook
up with a one-night stand that’s why I’m getting over those things because I
started waking up and the veil got thinner and I recognize the oneness so
I’m not as compelled by my ego or limit itself which is a heck of a compliment
to see to enter feel towards yourself so you realize I’m looking for someone who
not only recognize that there one is the way I am working on doing that with soul
Wow kind of cool there are still fingers that are aware there’s just no veil and
so the fingers become less outer oriented they start becoming aware of
the interrelationship of all things and they start to realize things are
mirroring the outer of another person is mirroring something within me so that’s
all really cool so if you’re gonna date you would want to date a finger that
knows it’s a hand and then more than that I want to date a finger that knows
it’s a hand but also knows how to surrender to God just like the neurology
of the body this hand should really only be doing things that the command center
tells it to do you know hi hold hands and to the face oh you’re beautiful
you know it’s following those those you know thoughts inspirations from the mind
if we use the spiritual analogy this is God saying the hand is an extension of
me rather than it’s separate from me it’s going away from me in its soul and
then the fingers are lost and they’re going out into the universe turn it the
other way and all of a sudden the fingers realize they’re part of the hand
soul and the souls realize that they are here to serve the greater good the
greater God and the oneness of all things that’s the kind of relationship
to look for I don’t know that this is what your mother told you
when you were young now honey stay away from those middle fingers you know I
don’t know that that’s how you were brought up I don’t know that okay I
don’t know that anybody else comes up with these kinds of the kinds of
analogies because they’re kind of weird bizarre but I think they’re beautiful
the this is just because my mind sees the connection of things it’ll use a
metaphor of a tree a body or whatever it happens to be and and it’s because all
things are connected you yourselves could probably have come up with similar
similar analogies maybe without even realizing it because everything’s
connected soon as you know that there’s an old saying that you know the universe
is within the grain of of wheat you know a cell it’s all the microcosm macrocosm
it’s all part of the quantum universe so everything reflects each other and so
relationships are not as complicated as some people would lead you to believe in
the illusion of life they do seem to get complicated sometimes because you have
feelings and yet sometimes those feelings shift and you don’t know how to
tell the person they shifted you don’t want to hurt feelings
other times you’re such a cold person you don’t care about hurting feelings
you just dump your stuff on people then feelings get hurt now you have Carmen
that stuff comes back to you it can get very seemingly complicated but it isn’t
the God in us that’s complicating relationships it isn’t it’s the ego
aspect of mankind that makes them complicated and it makes them
complicated so that we can’t resolve them so that we then feel hopeless get
into a state of despair and then reach out whether it’s for drugs to deal with
the despair or people and you just go around and around and around and it just
doesn’t stop and that’s that hamster will and it just goes and goes so our
job is to learn come back to earth man simplify things you know look at it from
the bigger perspective and you realize wow you know we can learn the deepest
topics and use such simple analogies and the one I just shared with you hands
fingers whatever I could share that with five-year-olds and explain to them
relationships that professors on the topic of you know relationships psycho
therapies of her types and the understanding the
human mind and the psyche and complexities of you know social systems
and you know whatever it happens to be all these different things and they
wouldn’t be able to do that I’m not trying to compete with it I’m saying the
the more complicated you make it the less you understand things in fact the
more complicated you make things the more you don’t want to really understand
them you want to continue talking about it in your head from your head but when
you really want to understand it it’s like wow just come up with some simple
analogies you could speak about yourself and say if I want to understand what
I’ve been doin have I been doing with relationships oh my god the kinds of
people I’ve dated know it sometimes just ask yourself what is that like I guess
if I’ve dated some people that weren’t very safe that was a little bit of like
and then could be a character in a movie it could be the way nature works somehow
predators I keep dating predators they know how to divide me from a herd and
then you know pounce and come after me and and just don’t let me go yeah that’s
a good analogy and you know how does it apply in your life why do they do it why
how does it happen they must sense that there’s a weakness
that’s why they the Predators go after though the weak one in a herd how does
that happen why does it happen oh I get it I must be leaking a little bit I must
be showing that I have some weaknesses so what’s the best way to deal with the
predator if you’re a weak one and a herd I’m gonna get other weak ones in the
herd or from other herds to agree to hate the predator and we’re going to
just collectively hate the predator this is sounding kind of political right now
isn’t it but anyway we want to get other other weak ones to hate the the predator
that actually is going to help you well it will because if we all pounce on them
and kill them now you sound like the predator so doesn’t seem like it works
and and I just made that up use an analogy use analogies to
understand your life use analogies to life in nature because it gives you
another person if it gives you an objective perspective
of what you might be doing what you might be dealing with and then you say
wow if that’s not what I would want to see in nature then how do I change that
within myself if that’s not how I want to be I don’t want to be seen as the
weak one and a herd man that sounds kind of sick or grocers are sad I don’t want
to be that well then you you you work on the wounds that made you seem sick to
the predator so healing is an inside job it’s not by extracting the predator it’s
an inside job so keep that in mind so I pay I pray that all of this is making
sense and keep in mind you can watch this and other topics like it or totally
different topics if you like you know on YouTube Facebook wherever you’d like to
browse at these kinds of things but I appreciate you watching learning sharing
with me and I appreciate all that you do by asking these kinds of questions
sometimes you guys send in questions at all and I can’t get to them all the time
right away I do my best but I try to keep them in the back of my mind and you
know and then when they come around with with a few people asking about a topic
or sometimes that happens that I have it in mind to do it and all of a sudden
like right now boom I just go into this thing and say relationships and and it
just all happens so if ever you send in requests they’re not being ignored or
denied usually you know they’re just delayed for a moment because something
else is happening okay but I try to address whatever you guys send in as
best I can so many blessings to you guys and remember to watch with whenever you
can Sunday every Sunday morning around 10:15
live from unity of Sedona spiritual messages at that point or the Friday
spiritual insights which are a little bit more about common day things like
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alright peace be with you all talk to you soon bye bye