dating idiots and thriving

dating idiots and thriving


hi friends I just hit 7000 subscribers
thank you for being here and every thousand milestone I do a Q&A video
I don’t label them as Q&A though the last one is called Twilight bags of
teeth and making money as a writer if you wanted to go watch that one this
time I tweeted for you guys to specifically ask me questions about
dating in relationships because I thought that would be funny I said ask
anything about me my life or for advice or whatever we’ll see what we got I did
it through curious cat so they’re all anonymous so I’m sure you guys got weird
what’s the longest relationship you’ve been in four years would you date a fan
my good sense says no my dating history says otherwise what’s something men
don’t like about you that’ll have to be a separate video how many times have you
hit someone on a date I don’t know why you guys always assume that I’m violent
but three I’m big gy for a girl she’s almost definitely a lsbian help what
you need help lift that all lines up any tips for a romantic asxual other than
put yourself out there I mean put yourself out there if you use dating
apps specify in your bio that you’re romantic asxual and like put yourself
in positions to meet a lot of people and be really upfront about what you want
out of an interaction or a relationship and that will weed out the people that
you aren’t compatible with good luck what are some good date ideas for
someone who lives in a small town with nothing to do I live in that town um
Mario Party drinking pool pool and drinking we have a duck pond and I
always have like a bag of cat or dog food in my trunk and we feed the ducks
or I Drive to a cooler town the people that had gone dates with are usually in
those towns anyway because there’s not a lot of people that I want to date here
there are none actually but yeah Mario party first girlfriend
question mark like should you get one sure is it worth dating in high school
okay this is entirely my own opinion don’t come for me I’ve got a lot of
thoughts before you leave me a nasty comment about like how I’m stupid and
you’ve been with someone you met in high school for 15 years ask yourself are you
actually happy okay now go schedule a therapy appointment no dating in high
school is stupid be your own person find your own interests just worry about
relationships later or don’t they’re not a requirement ever it’s just not a good
use of your time right now young people are stupid your brains aren’t fully
developed until like your mid-20s going on dates can be fun hanging out with
people is fun safely and consensually that’s fine but like don’t get in a
committed relationship if you’re in relationships when you’re
young it’s really easy to develop habits of like codependency just live your own
life for now you’re a baby seed you’re growing when you’re a tree then you can
mess with other trees I’m looking at a bunch of trees right now sorry you’re
just in such a pivotal growth time let yourself grow that’s the most outrageous
thing a man has ever said to you on a date probably that guy that mansplain
páginas to me but there was also one who like at the end of the day in which we
did not vibe a single time I was extremely bored he did not ask me on a
second date no he asked for a relationship I think it was his first
time talking to a person or like leaving the house he missed a lot of signs I’m
not subtle what’s the dumbest thing you’ve done in
a relationship okay so I did dumb stuff is a teenager because teenagers should
not be in committed relationships but as an adult I’m very direct I tell people
exactly what I want and expect out of any interaction and I had one partner
who didn’t know what to do with that and they kept thinking that I was lying
or wasn’t serious about what I was saying or whatever no I dropped to like
the ninth grade level they were operating on and started being like
roundabout and subtle and hinting at things instead didn’t get that either
turns out they were just stupid so I should have just accepted that they
didn’t comprehend direct delivery of their native language and plain speak
and dump them then instead of dragging it out but live and learned what are red
flags in a relationship someone not respecting your boundaries be it
physical or use of your time or your money or whatever you’re still an
autonomous person in a relationship or you should be you have your own friends
at your own hobbies and your own jobs and your own stuff going on if they’re
unsettling some part of your life and you bring that to their attention and
they don’t do anything about it they probably just don’t respect you and
that’s not good if they dissuade you from hanging out with like your friends
and family or they’re like constantly talking down about other people in your
life to get you to not like them or distrust them then they’re either like
unhealthily insecure or they’re working on cutting you off from your support
system which is an early sign of abusive behavior and you should look after them
don’t let a romantic partner pull you away from your other relationship and I
guess just if they’re like being disrespectful in general like if they
make you feel judged or insecure if they’re always making fun of you or
they’re not listening when you tell them there’s like a problem or something that
they’re doing is bothering you then to red flag i want open communication
and understanding and you want both of you to be acting upon that communication
like if they say that they’re gonna change something and then they don’t
that’s worthless have there been any situations where a guy tries to flirt
with you but you’re just the big gy I love the big gy as a concept in a term
there was this one guy that I had met in a science class in college and he was
amazing because he’d interrupt lecture to like just really argue about these
conspiracy theories that he had he’d easily eat up like twenty or thirty
minutes of lecture time arguing with the professor who was very patient and kind
I remember one time he was arguing about the moon landing and he didn’t know how
this shuttle got back if they used up all their fuel getting to the moon and I
quote hmm how do I got back they got gas stations on the moon so that was that
guy at one point I was sitting in a coffee shop with my friend and we were
right like very clearly we were working we each had our laptops out I had
headphones in and he saw me and he came up and started talking to me and just
like he’s got a bunch of dumb shit for a long time and I was like okay I didn’t
cut him off cuz I wasn’t positive that he wasn’t mentally disabled I’m still
not but so he talked for a long time and then he asked me for my number and I
said why genuinely believing that he was going to act like tell me a subject he
needed tutoring in but then he was like cuz I think you’re poor you don’t wanna
call you know it’s like oh and then I just like lean back and my friend who is
sitting next to me needed absolutely like no bidding and she just like
dropped her arm around my shoulder and I was like sorry this is my girlfriend and
then he just like fell back and was like oh dude no and then turned and sprinted
out of the building and we watched him from the window across the parking lot
across the street and then just like into a field and out of sight ran ran
away and that was amazing does that answer the question I don’t
know I thought it was fun what would you recommend for someone trying to write a
failing romance I know how to write healthy relationships and super toxic
ones what the middle ground is where I struggle I mean want to just write like
a healthy relationship and then have them fundamentally disagree on something
or have different life ambitions what’s your favorite and least favorite part
about being in a relationship my favorite part
built-in snugs least favorite is when my partner so far inevitably gets mad
that I have a lot of really close attractive friends get over it have you
ever cheated on a partner nope have you ever been cheated on no plans for kids
okay never getting pregnant most likely
fostering maybe adopting I love my friends kids like spending time with
children is my favorite but I don’t see a reason to intentionally bring a new
human into this specific world like morally that doesn’t sit right with me
pregnancy freaks me out birth freaks me out
so I’m not going to have a child I probably also don’t want to raise one
from like an infant to a fully cooked human taking care of something that is
absolutely dependent on you 24/7 is something that I think takes a very
specific mental and emotional capacity and attention and I don’t think everyone
who raises a baby has that capacity and I know that I don’t like I’d also never
adopt a puppy I adopt old animals and I’ll raise baby animals for rehab and
release like birds and bunnies but I’m never gonna commit to keeping something
forever that I know I’m not going to keep forever deciding to do that anyway
like with a baby because of like societal pressure or whatever reason
other than wanting a baby but that wouldn’t be fair to me but it’s super
wouldn’t be fair to the human life I would say your responsibilities and this
is kind of unrelated but it’s something that I’ve always thought about certain
people raising kids if you aren’t ready to fully commit to your kid turning out
disabled or gay or whatever way that you aren’t picturing the perfect ideal child
then you aren’t ready to be a parent and all you’re rolling the dice you have to
love whatever comes out the way that it is and if you can’t do that get a dog
and if you can’t handle something peeing in your house and chewing up your stuff
don’t get a puppy know your limits I just know mine so never having an
actual kid definitely fostering and then might adopt an older child cuz no one
wants them and I want them what’s your favorite dating related anecdote I have
a patreon video that’s all about like the bad dates that I’ve been on this
year as far as like anecdotes that aren’t horrible my last ex and I got the
cops called on us on our first date which I guess was a sign you’re
attractive and funny and seem nice but I scrolled your Instagram for a while and
don’t see a boyfriend tongue emoji you must be secretly crazy
do you have worms in your brain what’s the fastest a date has gone from bed to
oh god get me out of here probably sushi guy um you can get that
whole story on patreon but this guy sent the server back to the kitchen to find
out where this fish was from when every table in the restaurant was full and I
starving it took her 20 minutes to come back with an answer make hungry Hannah
wait for food and see what happens like she’ll make a video making fun of you at
the very least at the end of that date was really funny
at what point can I bring up marriage on the first date
fraud don’t bring up marriage for the first year why I just imagine you
punching all the boys how long was your most serious relationship and how did it
end I do not punch all of the boys I’ve
punched three of the boys as discussed my longest relationship was four years
and it ended because like we’d been dating since we were teenagers
and then we were adults and I was like hey I don’t want to be in a relationship
my whole adulthood so and we’ve been best friends ever since and I’m moving
in with them next year what’s the stupidest thing a date said either in
person or in an app condo leading up to a date that made you nope out this one
guy from bumble waited for five months to meet up with me and then the night
before I was gonna go meet him he said some like super trnsphobic stuff and I
was like wow what and I was like okay so this is why that’s not cool um your
thoughts and he just dug in about it so I was like okay thanks for saving me
some time and gas money I feel like my vgina looks weird how can I trick
myself into being comfortable dating naked around men have you seen a
bllsack you’re fine how do I ask someone on a date because that is
terrifying and I don’t understand how anyone ends up dating I just say you’re
pretty and then run away okay do the first part and then don’t do the second
part worst dating experience you’ve ever had the sushi guy have you ever had
feelings for someone that were not reciprocated and how did you get over it
once and I’ll let you know how the do I a lsbian ask a girl out y’all you
just ask what is the angriest a significant other has it been with you
my best friend is an attractive heterosxual male whom I have dated
before you can imagine so I’ve had multiple people I’ve been with
threatened to break up with me if I didn’t stop being friends with him and
I’m always just like okay bye why would I throw away a decade-long
friendship for like this month-long relationship with someone that entitled
and insecure anyway I don’t date middle schoolers anymore so that hasn’t
happened in a while what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve done because you
fancied someone waited out a two-year relationship while being an extremely
supportive friend about it where’s it how is your romantic life
influenced your writing it’s mostly influenced my patreon content but also
any life experience makes writing about that topic more convincing so anytime
I’ll write romantic content it’ll be influenced by me like what do you want
out of a relationship someone kind and affectionate who’s good
with boundaries and is independent and is cool with having a super independent
partner someone I can’t laugh laugh someone who all dogs love immediately
and someone who isn’t scared of roaches because that would be super inconvenient
what don’t you want out of a relationship that’s a long list someone
who has no driver motivation someone who’s passive or manipulative someone
with no empathy someone who doesn’t care what’s happening with the rest of the
world someone who’s bad at communicating and it leaves a toilet seat up put it
back down the bathroom small something’s gonna fall and which of your stories
offer the best insight and see a romantic light what remains
that’s funny if you read my book I read my book how do I break up with a friend
good question okay everyone has a finite amount of time and energy and then
especially as you get older you have more obligations and you have less time
and energy to devote to optional things so you want to use it properly there’s
no reason to hold on to relationships friendships included that aren’t serving
their purpose if it’s a dynamic that drains you makes you feel bad about
yourself makes you do stuff you don’t want to do or just doesn’t provide
anything positive to your life you probably don’t need it before you ditch
an entire friendship there’s a squirrel before you ditch an entire friendship
especially one that’s like been around for a lot of years and you don’t really
want to throw away you might try figuring out specifically
what’s bothering you so if it’s just one facet of your friendship that you aren’t
happy with you can address it with your friend like hey I don’t want to do this
specific thing with you anymore I want more time apart stop calling me in the
middle and I stop dumping your problems on me I’m asking to borrow money stop
making fun of me about this thing let them know that it’s upsetting you and if
they don’t make any effort to change cut them off and you can have like a breakup
conversation with a friend just like you would with a romantic partner if you
need like that clean break to move on with your life I’m a vrgin female if
that makes a difference and I’m 21 years old I’m super embarrassed every time it
comes up I feel like I should just do it and get it over with but that feels
gross to me what do you think that is gross um girls do whatever you want
vrginity is a contruct sx is nothing don’t feel pressured to do anything
either way I don’t know where we went wrong that people think coming into
contact with a pnis is a life experience it does not make you a
different person you aren’t changed you don’t reach enlightenment it’s just a
thing that you can do or not do if you don’t want to tell anyone that you
haven’t done something before don’t tell them but don’t let what people think of
you affect the way that you make choices if you meet a guy you like but want to
be friends first and get to know them better before actually dating how long
do you think the friendship period should go on before moving forward with
a relationship I’ve tried this before and it doesn’t make a difference I think
once you decide to like wait out a friendship to date a person you’ve
already decided that you’re gonna date the person I have no advice besides
don’t rush into commitment it’s always better to have been friends first and it
takes like three or four five I don’t know months to get past of that period
where you like are blind to people’s flaws so maybe a few months I don’t know
what’s the current status of all your past relationships are you still friends
with any of them I love this question I asked this question on first dates one
is my writing partner one is my best friend soon-to-be roommate and one is a
little bitty beta bit I’m an almost 25 year old woman and haven’t ever actually
dated a guy yet and have no idea how to even approach the subject how should I
let a guy know that I like him tell him it ain’t that serious
worst case scenario he says no thanks oh well it’s the weirdest date you’ve been
on um again watch the patreon video probably the CG guy maybe the potting
soil guy how old were you when you had your first kiss what’s the story I feel
like I’ve said this in a few videos but kissed several girls can’t tell you who
was first or what ages then a boy tried to kiss me when I was 11 and I punched
it I can’t remember the first boy that I kissed that I initiated I was 17 it was
under a tree I saw squirrel – are you currently in a relationship or pursuing
one I haven’t been in a relationship for 11 months I’m not pursuing a serious
relationship I love having space and being alone I
also like to travel a lot and I like to like have my friends from far away come
stay for weeks at a time most relationships aren’t suited for that
kind of lifestyle I just love having space boys are so clingy and all the
girls around here are addicted to pills I mean I’m moving soon and there’s no
one locally I’d be interested in anyway because I like when people I date can
read I don’t think I’ve ever like sought out a relationship anyway like if I
happen to find someone that I really like and want to commit to sure that’s
not a common occurrence like so far it’s been one
and the others just kind of happened on accident or under duress so refresh in
my inbox to see if we got any new ones while we were filming nope
all done thank you for watching and thank you to all 7,000 or however many
of you there are now that are subscribed you should also hit the notification
bell because I upload every Thursday yeah thanks for watching and thank you
my patients for sponsoring this video they are fantastic
if you like Q&A videos let me know in a comment if you have a better idea for
how I should celebrate subscriber milestones tell me see you next week bye
let’s call him the little guy some obscure fish I don’t remember what it
was you got a guy called dirt guy so he was like living out a John Green novel
and I was buying dirt and it was so funny to me it was the only enjoyment I
had out of the whole evening cuz I don’t want to dance in a mosquito swarm to
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